child benefit theory

Hi girls. I know youapos;re most all at normal or underweight and anorexic BMIapos;s. I used to be.
I met a guy 3 years ago and I donapos;t know if I started eating again because itapos;s�a stressful relationship�or because itapos;s right. Itapos;s so rocky. Sometimes I feel like he saved by life and brought me into recovery. But other times, I feel it creeping back and I hate him for making me eat so much. Itapos;s like heapos;s stolen all control from me. I feel like I�have none. Like he controls me. I eat when he tells me to...because he likes to eat. I suppose it makes him happy...but it makes me hate him. It makes me very unhappy.

Iapos;m here because I was a skinny child, then became overweight. I weighed 170lbs and then developed an ED at the end of high school...and Iapos;m only 5apos;1 so 170 was pretty disgusting, Iapos;d say. My Lw after that was 92 and my Hw was 110 and I hated seeing anything above 104...even tho I knew that the scale will fluctuate throughout the day.
Well, I shot up to 150. :( I know itapos;s horrible. Thatapos;s how much I am now. You think youapos;re a cow at 120, how do you think I feel?

I feel like I donapos;t control anything. I try to regain control and he orders a pizza and I canapos;t make him unhappy by not eating some. He fell in love with a skinny girl, not the fatass I am in now after being pregnant. I lost the babies but not the weight. Itapos;s gross I hate it and I want to break up with the love of my life, who�Iapos;ve been with for over�3 years,�because he made me fat. Is it wrong for me to blame him for this? Shouldnapos;t I be happy that he gets me to eat?

uggghhH I lost all that weight and I was doing so f*cking good and then he came along and swept me off my feet BECAUSE HE COULD LIFT ME THEN Try sweeping me off my feet now Lift up your lardass girlfriend
*cries*
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